ZUCCURES

Got you. You’re mine now. For the rest of the day, week, month, year, life. Have you guessed who I am? Sometimes I think you have. Sometimes when you’re standing in a crowd I feel those sultry, dark eyes of yours stop on me. Are you too afraid to come up to me and let me know how you feel? I want to moan and writhe with you and I want to go up to you and kiss your mouth and pull you to me and say “I love you I love you I love you” while stripping. I want you so bad it stings. I want to kill the ugly girls that you’re always with. Do you really like those boring, naive, coy, calculating girls or is it just for sex? The seeds of love have taken hold, and if we won’t burn together, I’ll burn alone.

— ― Bret Easton Ellis, The Rules of Attraction: A Novel

It changes, though. I don’t know. The weight of it, I guess. At some point it becomes bearable. It turns into something you can crawl out from under, and carry around - like a brick in your pocket. And you forget it every once in a while, but then you reach in for whatever reason and there it is: ‘Oh, right. That’ Which can be awful. But not all the time. Sometimes it’s kinda…not that you ‘like’ it exactly, but it’s what you have instead, so you don’t wanna let go of it either. So you carry it around. And it doesn’t go away, which is… Fine… actually.

— The Rabbit Hole